– Rune, why are some people afraid to live a full life, open up to a new relationship?
– They want to be safe, afraid of failure and being hurt. I am afraid. Don’t want to be a lawyer. Hate it, still I’ve done it for 20 years.
Quite often after coaching sessions I send my clients links to useful videos and articles. These emails are full of insights and ideas. They are full-fledged letters:) Happy to share one of them with you:
As we discussed, I am sending you some articles of mine. I hope you will find them useful.
You said that you hate your job, still have been doing it for 20 years. And that you feel sad cause tomorrow is Monday, the first day in the office after your vacation.
I know how it feels, I do. I bet you also have the surpressing and unpleasant feeling in your chest that grows as you approach the office! If that is the case, you could read this – “The gratitude wave”. I wrote it when I stopped feeling that benumbed pain because of doing not what I wanted to do in my life. Hope it inspires you!
You said that you are considering to become a tour guide after you quit your job and need to take a course plus learn some new skills. You sounded very logical and rational when you spoke about this. Yet I am eager to reveal a more tender, emotional and dreamy part of you. So I will ask:
Before becoming a lawyer, before all the studies and office work, what were you dreaming of?
A 15-year-old Rune – is he humble or perhaps ambitious? Does he love nature or perhaps enjoys carving wood? Loves organising things or analysing stuff, or none of that?
What are you interested in?
Try thinking not only about who you wanted to become but which tasks, poblems you wanted to solve?
Which issues you would be interested in solving now?
You could also consider looking up this article – “4 questions about the job you’ll love”.
These questions can help a lot to learn more about yourself and become more fulfilled as a professional:
Listen to what others say about your talents. What do people say about you a lot, but you seemed to disregard it?
What do you do easily, while others spend lots of efforts doing the same thing?
Think of the times when you let the time flow, forgot to eat and sleep – what were you doing then? Which skills did you use?
What do you like doing most of all? Something you would spend your free time on?
Also, below are five simple ideas which reinforce what I was saying above and which can bring the desired change (I am using the approach of career consultant Elena Rezanova here):
1. I love delivering speeches. Ever time I begin drafting presentation and the speech itself, I feel so much joy and happiness!
What is your interest? What attracts you like a magnet?
2. When I see the results of my work, how people change, when they say that this wokshop or article helped change their life, I feel I have a reason to continue. I feel that I do something meaningful in my life.
What kind of job would make you feel proud? What would be meaninful for you?
3. I am really good at inspiring people. I write articles, do individual coaching sessions and deliver speeches. And people pay me for that.
Let people pay you for who you are. Seriously. What makes you you? What are you good at?
Find it, use it, and enjoy the results!
4. Be ambitious, live to change life of other people for the better. Pathetic? Not really. Pragmatic, in fact.
5. Grow! Learning cooking and becoming an accredited tour guide fits here perfectly! Anything else?
When we talked earlier today, I said: “Now go and live your Sunday like never before – like the happiest, fullest, most promising and inspiring day of your life”. I promised to do the same:)
How was it?:) Tell me about your day.
Did I make it? Well, I did my best:)
I went to the presentation of tango schools to get a better idea of what this dance is about. Was I excited? A bit, and it was nice to visit the new place and get new impressions. Well, the best way is to start dancing, and then I will see. The only true knowledge is experience, after all:)
Then I went for a walk in the park. Sunday evening, relaxed atmosphere, children and families. Something was missing in the moment, though. I needed more joy! So I bought myself… a helium baloon of the same colour as my dress – turqoise. It was so nice! I felt girlish and stylish at the same time:)
Yet I wanted more. I wanted to share this joy with someone. So when I saw a sad little girl I gave my baloon to her. She said “thank you” and went away, no big smile etc as I expected. Here comes the test – whe you do something good, do it and leave, don’t expect anything in return. The child in me said: ”I want a baloon, too”:) Later on, I met the girl with “my” baloon near my house again – she was so happy, smiling to parents! When I came home, I saw them from my window again. The happy family and the turqoise baloon. I felt accomplished – quite a few people smiled today:)
Here comes the happy end and one final remark.
I feel that what lies behind our dissatisfaction with life and any frustration is our unfulfilled need to love – to take something but also to give.
I wish you to be in a caring and giving mood – first of all, for yourself. You are the most important person in your life, your best friend, your unconditional supporter, your ally. And now you need to upgrade your career to something that will let you breathe freely and ease the tension inside. I wish you many more mornings when you wake up happy, unpatient to start doing what you want to do! Many more happy mornings to come!
P.S. Hey, you might dislike your job, but you said that … you see northern lights when you come out of your office! Appreciate it:)!
P.P.S. Some more articles which you could find useful:
and my favourite:
Note: Rune O. is a corporate lawyer from Reykjavik, Iceland. He gave me permission to publish this letter in full. The name has been changed to keep privacy.
Email me at email@example.com, write on Facebook or call +38 095 197 11 22 (Viber or What’s up) to sign up for the coaching session or order a letter! I will write it for you personally on a subject of your interest.
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